You Aren't Failing Because You Aren't Capable- You're Failing Because...

You think you have to do it all, all at once.

I just started working with a client, and when I asked her what her biggest challenge was, she said her stamina and endurance. And from a physical performance standpoint, that makes sense. She tires quickly, and doesn't feel like she can keep going at a pace she wants to hold.

She did something very wise after that, though. She shared with me that she feared she would not be able to successfully make time for our coaching sessions and the program she enrolled in, with all of the demands and daily stress she has with work.

That fear is a common stressor in today's fast-paced lifestyle, filling every minute with 24hr availability for work (thanks, COVID! 🤬) and ever-changing relationships and people-pleasing tendancies. It makes life feel like it's not your own, and like you are a failure when you try to take it back.

The bottom line is, it is more of a mental game than a physical one. Sure, endurance and stamina grow when we can hold a higher pace than normal, but not when it comes to mental stamina and endurance. Stress hormones are at play here, and when we don't learn to manage them, and set boundaries, our mental endurance is limited, and so our physical endurance follows suit.

So what do you do to improve your mental stressors, so you can keep your commitments to improve your physical endurance?

First, don't focus on the past.

If you notice how you're feeling, you'll see that your body responds to thoughts, with emotions. Those emotions are very physical. Your hormones influence your physiological responses to your psychological state. Simply put, your body is influenced by your mind.

Your limits start with the truth that you may see failure as a stopping point. You can only see what you haven't been able to do- and that's not your fault. That's your survival brain at work. Our brain is wired to take what's happened in the past, and make it the only option for the future if you try again... which is why you often quit before you do.

Second, don't worry how you show up. Just show up.

It doesn't mean you need to be on your A-game, or give 150% all the time. Sometimes just showing up with the energy you have- even if you can only give 60%- you're opening yourself up to getting more in return. That positive, open mindset does wonders for the positive influence of endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin on your brain and body. What's more, exercise balances the hormones cortisol and insulin, as well as the digestive hormones that make it easier for your metabolism to digest what you put in your body.

Third, and maybe most importantly, learn to say no.

If what you say yes to is not a "Hell yes!", then it should be a no. Are you saying yes to meet someone else's needs at your expense, or will you feel happy and fulfilled if you do?

I am not perfect at this, and I know at work saying no is more challenging when a job is on the line. That being said, let's say your boss comes to your office, or asks at a meeting for you to head yet another project. You're faced with two deadlines, and two projects you have to finish if you say "Yes". On the other hand, could you say, "I'm currently working on xyz project that you've recently assigned to me. Which project would you like me to focus on to complete this project with the level of effort you want, at the expected deadline?"

Is it possible to set boundaries at work? Yes.

Is it possible to set boundaries with family? Yes.

Is it possible to set boundaries with yourself? Yes.

Boundaries allow you to focus on what is needed to make the most of each of the tasks or experiences you choose to have. Staying committed and scheduling time for yourself sets boundaries that make you stronger and more respected. You deserve to show up as your best self so you can offer your best to those you serve, whether that's family, colleagues, or customers.

The bottom line: When you have scheduled your workout, sleep, family time, meal prep time, and honor your commitments to yourself just as you would honor your commitments to someone else, your self-respect and confidence grows because you know you can follow through and do it without trying to do everything for everyone else at the same time.

If you are wanting to start a fitness or nutrition program, but need to start small, with minimal time commitment, perhaps the 4 week Fit Nutrition Jumpstart program or a single personal training session is right for you. Attach a new, healthy habit onto another one- allowing one to prompt you to follow through with another, and pretty soon you'll be seeing the big results that small changes allow. After all, you're stronger than you think, and you deserve a body and life that you love.

Check out www.amyfitnutrition.com for a plan that fits you, and prove to yourself that you are capable of succeeding at whatever you say "Hell yes!" to!