Why I Set Goals, Not New Year's resolutions

The beginning of the year is always exciting, and also a little bit stressful. I love the thought of starting something, but often have a hard time following through, especially when it's something I feel pressured to maintain with perfect consistency or expectations to achieve the imagined results. That alone- the imagined results- can be paralyzing for me. It's one reason why I stopped setting New Year's resolutions. I could see point B from where I was starting, but the gap between where I was, and where I wanted to be felt impossibly wide to cross, and all of a sudden I didn't know where to start.

Do you ever feel this way? We're well into January... Have you set any New Year's resolutions or goals? And... have you started working on them? You may already be feeling some overwhelm to keep up the "all in" commitment to do all the things, all at once to achieve your goal, and it's just a matter of time before you run out of steam. That's OKAY. You're human and your limitations can teach you more about your strengths if you're willing to accept them.

I have learned (and let's be honest, I'm still learning!) how to create better sustainability in my efforts towards my goals, and actually enjoy the journey, rather than wanting results overnight and checking it off my list. When it becomes part of who you are, it's much easier to maintain consistency, and here's the acronym I use to gauge how I set my goals: P.E.A.C.E.

Now, I know that might seem incredibly corny... but I would rather follow this method than setting SMART goals, although that's a good suggestion to follow. Each letter gives me a reason and intrinsic motive behind my goals, which makes my goals stick more than the external rewards. If you want the thought and emotional process to bring peace on the way to reaching your goals, then this is the place for you to start, too!

Let's start small, and focus on the first step.

P = Progressive

Your goals need to not only build on one another, but also build on the steps to reach one goal at a time. We often set so many goals in different areas, especially when we get caught up in New Year's resolutions, that we feel this pressure to do everything we want to do, all at once. That's just a recipe for disaster.

Just remember, when you start working on one goal, the transformation you undergo will ripple into other areas of your life. So start small, and build on one goal, one step, at a time. Treat it as a milestone, not an end.

James Clear, author of "Atomic Habits" suggests making your goals so small you could do it in 60 seconds or less. If you make a goal to go to the gym, prepare yourself so you could accomplish that goal in 60 seconds or less. If you set out your shoes next to your bed the night before, it will prompt you to put them without having to spend time looking for them, and compromising your commitment to get out the door. Clear tells the story of a man who set a goal to go to the gym and start with 5 minutes there. The man built the habit of simply walking through the door, and walking through the gym without working out. Eventually he became accustomed to the routine of going to the gym that he wanted to stay, and he increased his time there. He built the habit of of going to the gym on the little steps it took to get him there.

What's a goal you've set for yourself? Can you break that goal down into steps? Not more than three steps, otherwise, you may need to reconsider what your goal really should be.

In the coming days and weeks we'll talk about the next steps, but for now, just begin with the first step. Share your goals or steps with me on social media, or in the comments here. I would love to hear what you're working towards or focusing on this year!